Gronkowski So Stoked For Bolts He Can’t Keep His Mask On

One of today’s season-opening video messages was from NFL superstar and pubic grooming spokesman Rob Gronkowski. Gronk is a recent transplant to the Big Guava, but already hyped to cheer on his new home team, the defending Stanley Cup champion Tampa Bay Lightning.

In the video, apparently produced earlier today when Gronk had 30 free seconds, the five-time Pro Bowler gives his hockey bona fides (played until ninth grade), and says he’s “excited to see the Tampa Bay Lightning back at it, going for another championship run.”

The video is twenty seconds long. Gronkowski’s face mask is off his nose at the two second mark. By the fifteen second mark, his mouth is peeking out, too. It’s understandable; dude’s got a large head and face — and a beak that’s prominent even in proportion. Maybe he shouldn’t be getting his masks off the rack.

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