The Ice King on Solitude

When the puck drops for the NHL’s first three tune-up exhibition games tomorrow, the stands will be empty. It’ll be weird to see big-league hockey players competing in front of nobody, but Dan Craig (whose actual title is inexplicably “VP of NHL Facility Operations” and not “Ice King”) sees the upside:

“Yes, we would like to have 17,000 people in here,but when you take 17,000 people out of here, and that body heat, it makes it a lot easier for the engineers to make sure that the building stays at one temperature.”

No one on the video team asked the obvious follow-up question: “Would you say that people ruin everything, with the uncontrolled warmth they radiate? That they’re messy, and loud, and always too eager to hug, and that solace can only be found in communion with the cold, silent ice?”

The exhibition schedule for Tuesday, July 28th:
Penguins vs. Flyers 4:00PM Eastern
Maple Leafs vs. Canadiens at 8:00
Oilers vs. Flames at 10:30